once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
