somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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