She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
