I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
