we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
