It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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