youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
