he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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