how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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