She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
