We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
