Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
