This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
