finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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