Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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