btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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