i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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