He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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