Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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