YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
