People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
