i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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