piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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