ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
