dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize