Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just high enough for therapy.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
