plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think your dad took our porno
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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