I look better un-naked...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
