did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize