So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
