i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
