She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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