the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize