I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
