I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
