What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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