Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
