I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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