His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
