Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
