I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize