4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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