It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
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Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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