More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
