just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
