So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize