i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
