Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
nutella sex= disaster
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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