okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
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There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.