I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.