I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
