Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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