Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
