so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
