After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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