glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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