just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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