I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
