Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
