So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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