ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
