Cold hands, warm shart.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
