just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Panties = found
Randomize
