There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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