The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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